feelings.events.memories

dinner and afters. BBQ in a condo, filled with laughter, water, coke and sprite. stingray and chicken wings, bee hoon and crazy jokes. what is missing? at the end of a 1.5hour train ride home, is this all there is to life?

conversations i enjoyed. fun and games, talking about years gone by (how old some of us were), how bemused some of the young ones were, some oblivious, some just plain dandy. conversations were good, not fantastic, but i guess that is how things really are when you are 17 or 18 (i don't remember doing such things when i was that age) things were just more about fun and what you want then anything else, and i don't know, perhaps things have changed on my end, or maybe some of my peers haven't changed. or maybe. i just don't know anymore.

i can't imagine what my life would be like if i did not have Jesus in my life. a life still dedicated to chasing grades, chasing girls, chasing money and i don't know what else. not that i do not struggle with sin anymore, but i would be completely and utterly numb towards it. i can't imagine; perhaps that was His plan all along, slowly drawing me to Himself. but yet, as i spend this night with this bunch of 'kids', experience tells me that life will lure them to its depths, the devil will tempt them with all His might and power, to a world that seems too good to be true, and even attainable a lot of the time. i'm afraid, as i pray. i'm terrified. whilst trusting in God to work to His own good pleasure, i'm scared, having seen terrible results, and longing for these fledglings to keep to the fold.